What No One Tells You About the Second Trimester

"The second trimester is the best part!"

That is what I was told from the moment I got pregnant. Friends and family told me things like "That is when you will really be glowing!" or "You will finally feel like yourself again." Mix that with the promise of renewed energy, increased libido, and overall pregnancy bliss, and I was ecstatic.

After dealing with some morning sickness and general blah-ness of the first trimester, I was ready to welcome my second trimester with open arms. However, no one told me the full story. While the glowing, pleasant months are common for most, they are not the only experience.

While I thankfully did lose many of the unwanted symptoms of the first trimester and felt more like myself, my second trimester was not the magical, glowing, high-energy version people hype up online. So here is my experience, the things that I think no one tells you about the second trimester of pregnancy that you might want to know.

The Myth of the "Glowing" Second Trimester

Maybe myth is too strong a word — as many women do report feeling much better during their second trimester. Granted, that could simply be because many women suffer a lot during their first trimester. After battling surging hormones and constant morning sickness, I would think that any reprieve would be a welcome one.

Yet, not every woman feels glowing and radiant throughout the next three months of their pregnancy. I went into my second trimester expecting a complete 180. I thought I would be highly productive, stunning, and feel nothing but bliss, motivation, and excitement. After all, even the pregnancy books I was reading kept telling me that this was the time to get out and be social, hang with my friends, make plans, move my body, and do all the things.

So imagine how disheartening it felt when not all of those prophesied moments came true. This is especially the case because of social media. All over my feed were women in flowing dresses, with glowing skin and huge smiles on their faces, while they raved about their pregnancies. I was happy for them, but I was also concerned.

Was there something wrong with me?

How did these women always look so happy and have the motivation to dress cute and do all the things, while I sometimes had to find the motivation to roll out of bed? Well, there are a couple of reasons. First and foremost, social media is often a highlight reel. We want to share our best moments with the world, not our worst.

Second pregnancy is an incredibly unique experience, and what might be true for one woman may not be true for another. While I did feel better and more like myself during months four through six, I was definitely not the glowing fertility goddess type portrayed online. I felt like myself again, but still different and changing, and there were a myriad of symptoms that came with the second trimester that no one prepared me for.

I am going to dive into some of the symptoms that left me feeling bamboozled so that if you are one of the people dealing with them, you know that you are not alone. It doesn't have to be all highs or lows; there is definitely a middle-ground experience.

The Second-Trimester Symptoms That No One Prepared Me For

Let's start off with the personal stuff — why not, right? I think it is better to get the embarrassment out of the way early on. One thing that many friends and family members told me they loved about their second trimester was their increased libido.

I know it makes you blush, but I am telling you, it was one of the most common things women shared with me. So much so that I thought it was a rite of passage that we all went through. After all, it didn't seem so surprising. In her book, Nurture: A Modern Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, Early Motherhood — and Trusting Yourself and Your Body, author, birth and postpartum doula Erica Chidi explained why this is often the case.

She explained that due to increased blood flow to the pelvic region, many women experience increased discharge. Along with increased discharge, many women also feel increased sensitivity. Not to mention most women no longer feel the urge to puke all the time, and as they start to feel more themselves, regular desires often return. Throw in hormone fluctuations, and it really isn't so surprising that this is a common side effect of the second trimester.

However, it does not happen for everyone. I remember sitting around waiting, thinking to myself, "I wonder what week this insane drive and confidence will kick in." But for me, it never kicked in.

While I was feeling better, I never got the increased libido. I also did not feel more confident in my body the way that many other women reported. Instead, I was heavily focused on the ways it continued to change and the sensations that came with it, such as tightness in my abdomen and lying on my stomach becoming less comfortable.

Not to mention that as my bump continued to grow, I felt more and more like a chubby little beluga whale — yet another thing the internet made me feel guilty for.

Social media made it seem like if you were not enamored with your growing belly and changing body at every stage, then you were a bad pregnant woman and a bad mother — neither of those are true.

You can be incredibly thankful for the life growing inside of you and in awe of your changing body, all while mourning the loss of who you previously were. You can be slightly uncomfortable with the new stretch marks and/or growing areas while also being amazed at how incredible you and your baby are. Two things can indeed be true at once.

A key thing to remember here is that hormones affect everyone differently, and there is no "right" way to feel. Each pregnancy is entirely unique, and it is okay if you feel different than what is shown on Instagram. A secret for you, I think the majority of women probably feel the way you might, but just choose not to speak up about it.

Other Surprising Symptoms

Besides my complete lack of drive, there were other symptoms that accompanied the second trimester that I was not prepared for. One of the most surprising and most irritating was something called pregnancy rhinitis, otherwise known as a stuffy nose. For me, this symptom actually began during the first trimester, but it continued into the second as well.

You know that feeling right before you get sick? Your nose is itchy and slightly congested, but you can still sort of breathe through your nose. Then nighttime comes, and it closes up like a high-security fortress, and you become a loud-mouthed breather all night — yeah, that has been my experience.

Turns out that just as estrogen and other hormones can increase blood flow to other areas, that increased blood flow can also reach your nasal passageways. The blood vessels in your nose swell, and you can also develop increased mucus production. All of these things can lead to congestion, stuffiness, post-nasal drip, and a constantly runny or blocked nose — oh joy.

The second trimester is also when you may start to feel some round ligament pain. Many women adore the second trimester because this is when people begin to feel the baby move, but that movement comes at a cost. In her book, How to Grow a Baby: A Science-Based Guide to Nurturing New Life, from Pregnancy to Childbirth and Beyond, author and RN Amy J. Hammer, shared that most women feel movement for the first time between weeks 16 and 24.

However, let me stop you right there and tell you that this often varies as well. The internet will have you believing that if you don't feel strong fetal movement by a certain week, then there is something wrong with you, but several factors can determine when or how strong you feel movements.

For example, first-time mamas will often feel it later because they don't know what to look for. In the beginning, movements are very subtle, almost like gas bubbles in your stomach, so they are easy to miss. Additionally, placental location can affect when and how strongly you feel movements. For me personally, I had an anterior placenta attachment, which is a fancy way of saying that my placenta attached to the front of my uterus.

What this means is that my placenta sat between my belly wall and the baby. Therefore, the placenta offered a bit of a cushion for me, absorbing some of the force of my baby's movements. Therefore, it took me longer to feel stronger movements. I would say I didn't start truly feeling "for sure" movements until around week 24-26.

Women who feel strong movements earlier may have a posterior placenta, or a placenta that is attached to the back of their uterus. Then that cushion is not in front, so the baby kicks directly towards the front of your abdomen, resulting in stronger movements. The baby's positioning can also affect when and how strongly you feel movements, as well as the mother's overall individual sensitivity.

Now, back to that round ligament pain. Depending on all the factors listed above, you may experience round ligament pain to varying degrees in your second trimester. Round ligament pain is typically a sudden, sharp, pulling, or stretching pain in your lower abdomen, groin, or sides of the belly. It is caused by the ligaments supporting the uterus stretching as the uterus grows.

Many women, myself included, believe that this doesn't begin until trimester three, but it can and often does begin sooner during the second trimester. I was fortunate, and mine wasn't too bad. Rather than the quick stabbing pain (which came later in my third trimester), during my second trimester, it was more of a tugging or pulling sensation.

I most often noticed it when I stood up too quickly, walked too briskly, or rolled over in bed. For me, I typically felt it where my underwear line sits or sometimes in my lower abdomen. The location can vary from woman to woman, but the most common spots for this sensation are:

• lower right abdomen

• lower left abdomen

• groin area

• where your underwear line sits

Though some women feel it deeper into the pelvis.

Another symptom that began to pop up during my second trimester is one I had never associated with pregnancy before: blurry vision. I started noticing that my distance or far vision was not what it used to be. Immediately, I just assumed my genetics were catching up with me, and it was time for glasses. Then I learned that my pregnancy could be affecting my vision temporarily.

In her book, Chidi also discusses why this occurs, typically during the second trimester. She writes, "Pregnancy hormones reduce tear production, which can lead to dry eyes, irritation, and discomfort." Later she continues, "The same hormones can also cause fluid build-up in your eyes, which can lead to changes in the curvature of the eyeball, temporarily changing or degrading your vision while you're pregnant."

This brought me such relief because the change in my vision did happen rather suddenly. Fortunately, I wasn't experiencing any of the more terrifying symptoms like flashes of light or frequent floaters that could be indicative of other problems. Instead, it just constantly looked like there was a blurred background effect on things in the distance.

I noticed that cutting back my screen time, using natural eye drops, getting plenty of sleep, and practicing eye exercises outdoors helped quite a bit.

Another unpleasant symptom that started in the first trimester and continued into the second trimester was sore breasts. My breasts constantly felt like it was PMS week, two days before getting my period. Everything about them was tender, and sometimes even a shirt or fabric rubbing against them in the wrong way would be too much for me.

I incorrectly believed that this tedious symptom would dissipate with my first trimester — alas, it followed me into my second. Granted, it wasn't every day, and it wasn't always so intense, but it was definitely still there. There are several factors that contribute to breast soreness during pregnancy, and specifically in your first trimester.

• Hormonal Changes

  • Although your levels are stabilizing compared to your first trimester, hormones such as estrogen, progesterone, and prolactin continue to rise throughout pregnancy. Those hormones play a role in supporting breast growth and milk production, both of which can contribute to breast tenderness and/or sensitivity.

• Your Breasts Are Growing

  • As your pregnancy progresses, your milk ducts continue to expand as they prepare to feed your baby after birth. Additionally, your breast tissue is continuing to develop. In fact, many women notice that they need to go up a cup size during their second trimester. With increased stretching and heaviness comes increased soreness.

• Increased Blood Flow

  • Here comes that increased blood flow comment again. In addition to it flowing to your nether regions and potentially your nasal passageways, your breasts also get in on the action. As your breasts receive much of the extra circulation, it is common to experience more visible veins, fullness, and increased sensitivity in the area.

• Colostrum Production Is Beginning

  • Although you still have quite a long time before your baby will be feeding from you, your body likes to plan ahead. It is during the second trimester that your body may begin to produce small amounts of colostrum, commonly referred to as liquid gold. As your breasts prepare for this milestone and lactation, you can experience some tenderness and fullness.

• Growing Belly Affects Posture

  • While you may not think of your growing bump affecting your breasts, it most certainly can. During the second trimester, many women finally start to look pregnant. No longer do people question "Is she pregnant or did she just eat too many tacos?" Typically, your bump is visible at some point during the trimester, too, and with that growing bump comes changes in posture. Many women naturally stick their stomachs out and rearrange how they stand and move to accommodate the extra weight. That shift can place additional strain on your chest, shoulders, neck, and upper back. These postural changes can sometimes make breast discomfort more noticeable.

This next symptom took me by surprise simply because I felt like very few people talked about it. When thinking of pregnancy-related anxiety, most people imagine it occurs only in the first and third trimesters. After all, in the first trimester everything is new, and there is the highest chance of miscarriage. Then, in the third trimester, many women feel nervous about birth. However, the second trimester gets this reputation of being glowing and happy and worry-free — that was not my experience.

I found that my anxiety seemed to peak during my second trimester — on and off again. Chidi explains that I was not alone in this symptom. She shared that "about 15 percent of women" experience increased anxiety during the second trimester. One of the main reasons for that is that sleep can begin to be disrupted at this stage of pregnancy, and lack of sleep or restless sleep does not help an anxious mind.

Here are some other reasons that anxiety may flare up during your second trimester.

• Hormonal Changes Continue To Happen

  • While they may not be rising as rapidly as they were in the first trimester, your hormones are not taking a break. Estrogen and progesterone continue to increase throughout your pregnancy, and they can influence neurotransmitters in your brain that regulate mood. Additionally, some women are more susceptible or sensitive to these shifts and emotional ups and downs. I know that I am a particularly emotional person, so perhaps I was more attuned to these cognitive shifts.

• Pregnancy Starts To Feel Real

  • For some women, myself included, the first trimester sometimes has a surreal feeling attached to it. You know you are pregnant because you feel exhausted, emotional, and sick, but somehow the reality hasn't fully set in yet. Then, during the second trimester, when your bump begins to show, things become a little more concrete. You start to feel the baby move, you can discover the baby's sex, and you start attending childbirth classes. All of these events can make women realize Oh my gosh, this is actually happening. With that excitement comes the conversations and worries about labor and parenting and finances and the question of whether you truly feel ready. During this time, you start having questions like:

    • Will I be a good parent?

    • How will our relationship change?

    • Do I know what I am doing?

The answer to all of which is yes.

• Information Overload

  • Also during this time, many women start to dive into the pregnancy books, see posts on social media, and receive endless unsolicited advice from loved ones. All of which can add to stress and anxiety. Try to take things one day at a time and remember that the opinions of others are just that, opinions, and you and your partner can make your own choices.

• Previous Experiences

  • Finally, women who have experienced:

    • Infertility

    • Pregnancy loss

    • Previous birth trauma

    • High-risk pregnancies

May continue to carry understandable anxiety into the second trimester, even when everything is progressing normally.

Another thing that I did not expect during second trimester was heartburn. I rarely suffered from heartburn prior to pregnancy. Once in a while if I took a pill without water or if I ate something too spicy maybe I would get it, but it was rare.

Similarly, everyone only shares the highs of second trimester. It is supposed to be the time when you feel on cloud nine, so heartburn was the last thing on my radar. Unfortunately, it was something that I battled almost every day. Some days were worse than others but I found this to be one of the most challenging symptoms to combat.

In her book, Nurture: A Modern Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, Early Motherhood — and Trusting Yourself and Your Body author and Birth + Postpartum Doula, Erica Chidi, shares why heartburn may increase during the second trimester.

First it has to do with that pesky relaxin. While it may be helping you to feel more flexible, it is "also relaxing the sphincter muscles at the base of you esophagus that keeps the stomach acid inside of your stomach." Then you add that to your growing belly which is beginning to push upwards and it creates the perfect concoction for heartburn.

Although it was nice to understand why this was happening to me, it did little to assist my discomfort. Additionally, I knew my belly was only going to get bigger which left me feeling helpless. Would I have to endure this discomfort for the remaining six months of my pregnancy?

Fortunately, there were some things that offered relief. Avoiding coffee, fatty, and spicy foods all seemed to help. Although I will admit that was easier said than done as I craved all of those things during pregnancy. Additionally I found that walking after meals helped as did avoiding laying down for at least two hours after I ate.

Chidi shared that "coconut oil can neutralize stomach acid," and suggested that you could "take 1/2 a tablespoon upon waking." While I never tried the coconut oil I did find that drinking coconut water helped ease the burn as well. Just try to be mindful of the sugar content in coconut water.

Finally the last surprising symptom I wished someone warned me about was clumsiness. Honestly this one was a bit funny to me and mildly irritating more than anything else. The further I progressed into my second trimester I found that even the simplest of tasks began to give me issues.

At first I thought it was just me. My sleep wasn't as good as it used to be and I was feeling a bit stressed — or perhaps I was just more uncoordinated than I previously believed. However, eventually I learned that while my brain was rewiring my body was also changing, and some of those changes were what was leading to my sudden clumsiness.

First of all, my center of gravity was changing — as yours is or will too. Second trimester is where a lot of people finally begin to notice their bump. While it is adorable for those pregnancy announcement photos, your growing uterus also forces your center of gravity to shift forward.

Your entire life your brain has known where your body exists in space, but now you are forced to recalibrate as you navigate that fact that you are taking up decidedly a lot more space. This is why many women find themselves bumping into doorways or furniture. You often misjudge where your hips are, trip over your own two feet, or in my case, I found myself knocking things over left and right.

In addition, that pesky relaxin is at work again. While it does help prepare your body for birth by loosening ligaments, it is not just your ligaments that are affected. Relaxin can also affect the joints in your body. This can cause your ankles to feel less stable, your feet to roll more easily, and your balance to feel off or wobbly.

Furthermore, while many women expect some feet swelling later on in pregnancy not all of them know that you feet can actually change during pregnancy as well. Your arches can become flatter, your feet can become bigger, and your shoes may not fit the same as they used to — all of which make you that much less coordinated.

Let's not forget the infamous pregnancy brain too. Not only can it make you forget things like why you walked into a room or where you left your keys, but it can also leave you more distracted in general. Being mentally distracted often means you are less focused and less focus can easily lead to clumsiness.

The Second-Trimester: The Highlights

While there were plenty of surprising symptoms I did not expect, I will admit that I still loved my second trimester. Especially looking back at it now from the end of my third trimester, there is a lot we take for granted about those special three months.

During my second trimester I definitley experienced less nausea and morning sickness discomfort. It was night and day between my first and second trimester in this regard. I also found myself having more energy. Granted, it wasn't as much as I was expecting due to the posts on social media, but it was definitley increased.

While I did start to loose sleep starting towards the end of second trimester I never truly felt fatigued in the way that I had in the first trimester. So rather than saying I had more energy perhaps I would say my energy was more stable. Additonally I found it easier to focus on tasks that were too daunting in the first trimester.

Activities such as cooking, or reading, or working out all brought me joy again — something I had lost in the first trimester. That sense of apathy was gone and I found myself wanting to go out and see friends again. I also finally truly felt pregnant. In the first trimester, it was easy to forget (expect for those pesky, unwanted symptoms).

While settling into the reality of pregnancy also spurred some anxiety, it also made me feel more connected to the little life growing inside of me which is truly a wondrous feeling. It was also the time when we began doing the "cute" baby things. We started decorating the nursery and went on our baby-moon (which I will detail in another post). The things that I felt too sick for in first trimester and too tired for in third all fit perfectly in this little three month period of rest and joy.

Remember: Your Pregnancy Doesn't Have To Be Pinterest Perfect

The main takeaway from this is that every person and every pregnancy is different. Some women feel glowing and goddess like, while others are just trying to make it through the day — and both are okay! Your pregnancy is yours and yours alone and just know that just because you may not fall into the "normal" category at any given time it does not mean that your journey is wrong.

Not everyone's life or pregnancy looks like a perfect Instagram reel or Pinterest board. Honestly, half of us posting that is not what our day to day looks like anyway. Just remember all of the incredible things your body is doing for you and your baby and take this journey one step at a time. Your experience is valid and you are growing a life inside of you! It is okay to be overwhelmed and overjoyed at the same time.

Your baby is lucky to have you. Hang in there and try to enjoy any little moment you can.